I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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