There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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