rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
