bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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