another moral hangover. fuck.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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