is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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