If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
