I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
