This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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