I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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