Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
