I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
