And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
