Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize