We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it glows. i had to have it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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