Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we're making bets on your personal life
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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