Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
