guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I've blown a few things in my day
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
