I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
