ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
