You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
