Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
