I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
