then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
