I wanna bring you to show and tell
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
