woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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