i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
