Me. At least after what I've been through.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
