Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
