Dude my mom stole all your condoms
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
