He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
