he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
