Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
