dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
