Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
