found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
