It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
