hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
