Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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