you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
