I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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