they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
