we have pet lesbian snakes
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
