I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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