Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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