Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
