you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
