dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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