I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
