I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
What a dumb baby whore.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
