All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My room smells like vodka and shame
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm really busy with my period
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