he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
